I had planned today to do this great post on Butter… I was going to tell you that butter isn’t bad for you, because well, it’s not. But something happened…
Let me back track a bit here…
You know how this blog has been bare? It’s because leading up to last Friday, I was EXHAUSTED!!! Not everyone knows this about me but my plate is a bit full. And honestly, I made it that way. Mon – Fri I work as a nanny and a home health care aid. Tuesdays and Fridays I watch my niece and every evening I go home to my grandma whom needs a bit of help here and there.
This isn’t me complaining, but life is hard. Actually, it may not be life that is so hard as much as constantly being “on” to the needs of others is hard. Add on to the above that until last Friday I was in school full time (my dietician certificate) and run all things The Kitchen Revolution. I am also planning a wedding (barely) that is taking place in 123 days and will be moving out of state then.
This brain of mine rarely turns off, but it needs to more often! My car also desperately needs to be cleared of car seats, strollers and walkers so that it can be cleaned but that’s a different post for a different day.
Ok, so on to yesterday. I have recently been in contact with a lot of moms. Moms who stay at home and moms who work. Moms who have little ones with special needs and mom who have healthy and bright children who NEVER stop talking. Moms who are thrilled to be moms, and moms who are struggling with the everyday demands motherhood has on them.
But this one mom, well she got really honest with me. She told me the truth about how she feels about being a mom, being a wife and what she actually wants to do today. It was shocking… it was refreshing and it was appreciated!
Over and over, I talk to these moms and I hear something lacking in their voice. Honesty. They are lacking the confidence to look at another mom, a friend, a sister or their husband and to vocalize how hard life is. Part of this comes from the fact that so many of these moms don’t feel like they truly have a listening ear available to them. Some feel like they are bad moms and bad Christians if they feel these real and valid feelings.
I often call myself a faummy (faux-mommy)… I have a lot of the responsibility of a mom but I never birthed my girls – that’s what I call the people I share my life with, both at work and at home. So, I KIND of get it. I don’t totally get it, but kind of. I understand the feeling that you just can’t “get” anything right today… that if you didn’t have little minions constantly at your ankles, well then maybe you wouldn’t be so exhausted, maybe you wouldn’t STILL be trying to lose those 10 lbs., maybe you could actually paint your toenails or shave your legs. But instead of saying these things, it’s all getting bottled in.
For the last two weeks, I didn’t get anything up on this blog because I was writing away in a notebook. I was writing about my fears, things I consider to be failures in my life, exciting upcoming events and all of my insecurities. I wrote and wrote and wrote…. And it was good with my soul.
I’m not suggesting you need to go write… writing isn’t for everyone. But for me, writing was the one thing I could do to process all the emotions that I had happening. Writing was the one thing I could do to make sure I was being taken care of.
I promise that this post isn’t about me, some girl who doesn’t know what your life entails, telling you that you need to create time out of thin air so that you can take care of you… but instead, it’s telling you that I’m sorry today is hard. I’m sorry that you need more help, whether financially, physically (be honest, who doesn’t want a 3rd arm), emotionally, mentally or spiritually. I hope you know that you are valued, that your feelings are valid and that your work, the gross stuff that no one else will do is appreciated. I hope that at some point today, your little one or spouse looks at you in the eyes are that your heart gets filled with feelings of “this is what makes it worth it”. And in that moment, I hope you can recognize that look at love, not just from your little one or your hubby, but from the world.
Thank you mommies of this world, working and stay at home, fitness fanatics and crafters, Christians and non-Christian, young and old… thank you for being selfless people who give all day every day without every receiving. You work, your feelings and your love is appreciated.
Tomorrow I will be posting a bit of a mother’s day gift guide and one mom will be getting some goods. So please come back and check out a little bit more love that is happening in this little space on the internet all for you!
Oh, and don’t worry I will definitely be posting in the future about butter and why we should all be eating it! Because who doesn’t want to hear about that?